I am sure I am not alone in my amazement at senior internet dating sites, due in part to thinking back to my teenage years and remembering how difficult it was to make sense of my hormones and ask someone out on a date, and if she said yes, now I was really confused. Thank the Lord for the Playboy Advisor.
My parents were not much help in the dating etiquette game. I know my father for sure was just as lawless as we were, but without the rock and roll. But his family split up during the depression when his father died, and he was 14 when that happened. Much different circumstances.
But what does teenage angst have to do with senior internet dating? We lived in Mankato, Minnesota when I became aware that there was something quite amazing about the young women surrounding me, and I was still quite confused by a couple of hundred potential mates, and now with the click of a mouse, I can be connected to thousands of worthy partners, all of whom have filled out a personality inventory and have a profile, who are filtered to match me. And that is just on my P.C.
There are probably hundred's of apps available for my cell phone, which I am very attached to, but I still treat it like a landline.. I am a P.C. troglodyte in a cell phone age, although I know how to text and text frequently, I hunt and peck messages like I used to type. I am not the person who is going to use a cell phone adeptly in the mating game, which I think puts me behind before the starting gun even goes off. If cell phone app mastery is a prerequisite for a good night kiss, I am going to be kissless.
I also am one of those folks who needs to meet and look into the eyes of folks...I understand the dance of power that men do, and I am very comfortable in it, but dating requires some face to face interaction for me. I want to see her smile and hear her voice, and watch the micro-expressions as we talk. Call me old fashioned but pictures on the cell phone tell me little about a potential mate.
Despite what you may see in advertisements, or on any social media newsfeed, online dating isn’t just reserved for the so-called hookup culture of Millennials looking to quickly swipe and score. Sure, there are apps out there for just that purpose but the majority of legitimate online dating sites actually try to match you based on who you are, regardless of who that might be. They take into account factors such as your age, marital status, parental obligations, and more. The more legitimate sites like these take some (not much, but some) time and effort, but in requiring some brainpower they also deter the younger casual hookup crowd and actually attract more mature audiences looking to meet others for substantial friendships, casual dating, relationships, and marriage.
If you’re new to online dating, or still trying to wrap your head around the idea of meeting someone for romantic purposes online, rest assured: online dating sites are designed to make meeting others you are compatible with easy and even fun. They match you based on criteria you input about yourself along with the qualities you seek in others, and use specialized algorithms to ensure you interact with the members you are either seeking or are most likely to be compatible with. Don’t worry, you won’t be matched with an 18-year-old on the site, so long as you follow the simple registration steps that allow you to input a desired age range. There’s also no need to worry that you’ll never find someone your age.
Let’s look at the facts. From 2013 to 2015, the use of online dating apps increased by almost two thirds for people ages 45 to 54 and nearly doubled for those ages 56 to 64. If you’re on the younger end but still consider yourself a mature dater, don’t worry. Research found 21 percent of singles ages 35 to 44 use online dating apps, as do 21 percent of singles ages 25 to 34.
So no matter what your age (or sexual orientation or marital status) there are singles out there on popular and niche senior dating sites looking for others in your age range. In fact, age isn’t as much of an issue at all anymore. We’re living in a culture that settles down later and often does so more than once. It doesn’t matter if you’re single at 45 anymore, nor does it matter if you’re looking for your third marriage. Nothing is black and white anymore, especially when it comes to any sort of unspoken “rules” of senior internet dating.
But there are some things to keep in mind when you’re using an online dating site for actual (or mature) online dating. Remember that life is sped up in the digital world, so while fifteen years ago you may have waited three days after a date before calling, in today’s times a text before you head to bed after a date is totally normal, if not expected.
You also have more options than you’re probably used to, which can lead some people down a slippery, self-destructive path of dismissing others in search of that “perfect” match. Of course you deserve the one that makes your heart skip a beat but do keep in mind that no one is perfect and while online dating can make it seem like there are endless fish in the sea, it’s best to give those you are genuinely interested in or attracted to a fair chance. On the flip side, you can’t take early stage dating behavior too personally. You're both on online dating apps, meaning you’re both actively dating, which in turns means, yes, she’s probably in the process of talking to other men in her life while she’s on a date with you — just hopefully not when she’s not on that date. You’ll want to always treat others with respect, so going on your dating app while on a date is rather frowned upon, yet you’ll find the most satisfaction if you can learn to take things lightly and not expect too much commitment upfront.
The point of online dating is to find others but it’s also to have fun in the process. Keep an open mind and a strong backbone and you’re likely to find that special someone sooner than you ever thought possible. To get you started, browse through our list of the best online dating sites for the senior, or “mature,” crowd.
I would say yes.
I think the senior internet dating sites try to match you based on who you are, accounting for age, parental obligations, pets, sexual orientation, and all kinds of attributes, and they all seem to have an algorithm involved in matching. While I cannot catch that unmistakable gleam in her eye which says she likes what she sees from her profile, I think that matching profiles makes that gleam much more possible.
Other pages on this website go into some detail about the research of Helen Fisher, Ph.D, a Rutgers anthropologist who has decades of experience and research in the mating game. Her model for why we pick the mates we pick is brain based, which I find fascinating.
I am a delightful fan of Norman Doidge, M.D. who has written a wonderful book called The Brain That Changes Itself which outlines two great attributes for seniors, neuroplasticity, which means that our brain is constantly forming new connections, sometimes within minutes of exposure to new material, and neurogenesis, which is the growth on new brain cells.
Fisher's work indicates that we have four basic mate selection strategies, based on our brain and its neurotransmitters.
I trust a senior internet dating site that is based on research about our brains a little bit more than I trust the TV advertised sites. After all, there is a fee to use the senior internet dating site.
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