Senior Citizen dating was not in my future before I was divorced, (of course) and was a very low priority after my divorce as well. Maybe it was the impact of divorce, but dating seemed like an overwhelming task, although I had moments of loneliness.
I think I am good at relationship skills, and have an understanding of what intimacy can look like and feel like, and I know how to listen well, but the thought of building a relationship with a stranger, one that is worthwhile and satisfactory to both parties, requires time and effort and the thought of dating was just daunting for me.
So I had reconciled myself to the idea that I would not be in a relationship again, perhaps not even date, since I have always been a homebody, and much prefer a quiet evening at home to the bright lights and noise of my youth..
Actually, there are a good many good things to say about not dating...I like solitude, and the freedom to pursue my interests at my own pace.
The downside is loneliness, and not having someone to share your discoveries with.
There is a lot about her on Wikipedia and her Helen Fisher, Ph.D. website is listed there as well. When it came to her work on romantic relationships, I found myself intrigued by her experience and decades of work as an anthropologist studying romantic love.
Helen Fisher Ph. D. and her work were a significant part of the website Chemistry.com, This is one of her DVD collections from her book called Why Him Why Me-The Chemistry of Mate Choice..
However, the concept of using the internet for Senior Citizen dating or find potential romantic partnerships was a turnoff for me, and it still leaves me a bit uneasy...
I like that spark that passes between two folks who like what they see, which requires an in-person connection.
Even when I have experienced that spark, there is a required follow-up or introduction perhaps, and that never quite goes the way one intends...so just easier to let it go.
So how does one meet a compatible fellow senior for dating if that is what one wants to do?
There are a number of difficulties to overcome to senior citizen dating and the resources available for us, primarily online, are not typically reflective of our life and experiences, and how those shape our dating wants and needs.
Well, I can speak best for myself, but I think generally speaking, my views fit for many seniors.
Good looks are not every thing. I am no longer totally controlled by the hard wiring in my brain that responds to a woman's beauty. I can look way beyond her figure these days...to her health and her attitude.
Age is not a big deal, although I would qualify that by saying I want some physical activity...like bike rides, weight lifting, and aerobic exercise.
Conversation does matter, so dinner dates are important. However I do not drink, so no wine for me.
Not everyone is looking for marriage. A partner for bridge, or travel, or any activity, so relationships can take multiple forms...we seniors are bit more relaxed. That realization has been amazing for me...although there is a part of me that says we should be married! (Yes, there is a partner for me, and I will tell you how I met her in a bit).
Can there be multiple partners for multiple interests? Of course,
Another of the things I find difficult about online dating sites, even Helen Fisher's, is the filters...I am not screening for some of the things dating sites say I should be screening for, and trust is very important to me, so I want to talk and meet.
You know, counselor's are going to evaluate for non-verbal cues and incongruencies.
Do you receive an alumni newsletter? Does it include updates from classmates? That is where I reconnected with Betty, who was getting close to the end her human resources career, and was involved in a divorce of her own. We had dated in college, and there was still a very strong spark. Long story short, we have reconnected, and while we are not living together or married, our connection is very good, fun, playful, and intimate. So try your alumni association.
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