Romantic Chemistry

Romantic chemistry changes the course of your life, doesn't it?

Think back to your first love, and what you felt like when you thought of him or her.

I remember Kathy, and how I used to look forward to Saturday afternoon's at her house, where her parents would leave us unsupervised for hours at a time, and we...kissed, kissed a lot.

Of course, romantic chemistry with Kathy could change quickly too, as we could be going steady on Friday, exchange rings and everything, but by Monday she might be going steady with DuWayne, and I would get a taste of teenaged angst.

Even now, I feel a sensual pleasure, remembering what it was like to be that boy at 13.

And there were some other really love struck behaviors too, like the long love letters to JoAnn when I was a freshman in college, and she was a senior in high school. I would spend a great deal of time with the theasarous crafting those letters, much more than I spent on my college homework, and my grades showed it.

And then I would anxiously await her replies and pour over them, and pine for our next moment together....

But Helen Fisher,Ph.D. is taking a lot of the mystery out of romantic chemistry.

Professor Fisher has examined some in love brains, some just out of love brains, and some conected-for-a-long time brains, and presented them with pictures of their beloved and observed blood flow in those brains and determined that three parts of the pleasure center are active in romantic love, each of which is associated with a particular hormone or neurotransmitter.

Those three chemicals of romantic chemistry are androgens, or testosterone, which is associated with lust, oxytocin, which is associated with love, and dopamine, which is associated with trust.

There you have it, romantic chemistry at its most basic.

So if you want more romantic chemistry, then do more of the things which ensure the presence of those hormones or neurotransmitters.

For example, competition or working out can ensure the presence of androgens or testosterone, but so can making love, so the more sex you have, the more you want.

Oxytocin is a hormone that can be increased by touch, so massage, sleeping close together, and holding hands are examples of oxytocin enhancing behaviors.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which is enhanced by novelty or taking risks, in or out of the bedroom.

Dr. Fisher's analysis has led to hypothesize that we humans fall primarily into one of four main personality types, each of which is associated with a hormone or neurotransmitter, and that our romantic chemistry is best of we find a compatible type to have romantic chemistry with.

She has created a personality test and has taken it to, where she is the Chief Scientific Officer.

If you are curious about her work, try the test at

3 Months for the Price of 1

Remember, dark chocolate prepares the brain for something exciting.

Can it be trure that couple's working out together have more...testosterone?

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Very early in my personal growth experience, a wise person taught me to use the phrase "gratitude is the attitude" when I was resentful or afraid and that phrase has helped me feel better tens of thousands of times.

Would you share your favorite gratitude story by clicking here? Your story may be just what another person needs to renew themselves.

Your story becomes part of this website (which shows the site's most recent pages) and a permanent part of Ask Mike the Counselor2 for others to read!

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