Brainfit for Life

Relationship Expert

Relationship Expert

Chocolate Paradise

Chocolate tells the brain to expect something exciting!

3 Months for the Price of 1

Can your relationships be enhanced by a relationship expert?

What can a relationship expert teach you that you do not already know?

Believe it or not, there are some discreet skills that a relationship expert can teach you that will make your connections to other human beings more effective, whether those are professional or romantic relationships.

For example, Robert Epstein, Ph.D., Helen Fisher,Ph.D., and John Gottman,Ph.D. are researchers whose research I believe offers tremendous benefits to those willing to read their work and try it out.

Professor Epstein has been writing recently and really challenging our Western concept of courtship, for example.

Epstein wonders why 95% of arranged marriages in India are long lasting and grow in happiness when our divorce rate, even with the intervention of the Fairy Godmother, is 50% in our first, second, and even third marriages.

Epstein says that maybe we should do some intimacy building exercises as couples in order to share the benefits of a long lasting union.

Helen Fisher,Ph.D., has been studying the phenomenon of romantic love, and she says that we have the best chance of a successful union if we start the romantic love process with a compatible personality type.

Want to discover what your type is? Well, you have to take her personality quiz at Chemistry.com.

John Gottman,Ph.D., and Julie Schwartze-Gottman, LCSW, have been observing couples for 30 years at the 'love lab', and they have some real insights about how to make relationship longer lasting and much more fun.

For example, they can observe a couple and tell you within a few minutes whether the relationship will last, based on the number of times they see expressions of contempt, stonewalling, criticism, and defensiveness.

The Gottman's observations are video taped over the course of a weekend at least, and broken down by a team of experts for non-verbal communication patterns, they look at your urine and blood for stress hormones, ect. so this is a serious observation.

The Gottman's have teased out a number of skills that the folks who are successful in relationship, who they call the Master's of Marriage, appear to have, and they have put those together in a workshop called The Art and Science of Love.

I have taken segments of that workshop and used it with my domestic violence counseling clients, who are often amazed that relationship has discreet skills that they can learn.

Back to relationship expert Robert Epstein,Ph.D., who says that we in the West can have long lasting relationships with all the benefits that result for our children and our health if we put aside our Disney Prince Charming meets Cinderella at the ball and they live happily ever after with the help of the Fairy Godmother relationship model and make some effort to practice intimacy, like a relationship workout, if you will.

Epstein has students in his university classes practice some of the exercises he prescribes for couples, like soul gazing, where couples take a couple of minutes to look into each other's eyes, not stare, but gaze, and the students who do this report astunning increase of feelings of closeness for the other participant.

If you want to get a sense of how this might look like if you were working out physically, please take a look at what Scott and Angie Tousignant prescribe for couples workouts. Another of the Epstein exercises involves synchronizing breathing, which I find interesting, because I have used a heart rate variability biofeedback program with couples to teach them how to take a look at the heart beat of the relationship.

The program is Heartmath, which offers a wonderful way for couples to learn how to bring their individual heart beat into coherence and then bring the heart beat of their relationship into coherence.

Couples learn from this practice that the relationship is dynamic, and it changes from coherent to incoherent and perhaps back to coherence based on their thoughts, breathing, and attention.

Relationship needs to be attended to heart beat by heart beat rather than crises by crises.

The best news for the new experts in relationship? When they learn to attend to their relationship in brief intervals like heart beats, tuning relationship coherence is much easier.

Want to check out Heartmath?

HeartMath LLC

3 Months for the Price of 1

Would You Share What You Are Most Grateful For?

Very early in my personal growth experience, a wise person taught me to use the phrase "gratitude is the attitude" when I was resentful or afraid and that phrase has helped me feel better tens of thousands of times.

Would you share your favorite gratitude story by clicking here? Your story may be just what another person needs to renew themselves.

Your story becomes part of this website (which shows the site's most recent pages) and a permanent part of Ask Mike the Counselor2 for others to read!

And I'll tweet your Web page at my Twitter account, too!

Enter Your Title

Tell Us Your Story![ ? ]

Upload 1-4 Pictures or Graphics (optional)[ ? ]

Add a Picture/Graphic Caption (optional) 

Click here to upload more images (optional)

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

Your Name

(first or full name)

Your Location

(e.g., City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

Check box to agree to these submission guidelines.


(You can preview and edit on the next page)







Bid For My Meds



This is what I know about my grocery prices recently; bacon prices up, coffee prices up, chocolate prices up, beef prices up, and ComEd just raised my power rates a whopping 40%! Is there anything going down? Well, your Rx. price could go down if you use Bid For My Meds! My $46.00 Rx. from a pharmacy is $1.63 through Bid For My Meds!! Free trial if you click on image or link below.

Bid For My Meds











Brain Neuroplasticity



Inner Balance by HeartMath