Miscarriage Grief

Miscarriage Grief

Plant a seed to create a memory.

Back to Life! A Personal Grief Workbook.

<<>>

Our family experienced this particular kind of grief in 2003. Julie was pregnant with our second child, and early in the pregnancy, she experienced some spotting, of dried blood, and knew that something was wrong.

So of course she rushed off to the doctor's office, where she was told that everything was OK, but she knew better, and began to talk fearfully about the pregnancy.

One of the things I have learned over the years of my life is to listen to my wife when she talks about her body.

And soon her worst fears were realized, and she miscarried.

Her grieving for this important part of her body, and for her dreams for this life surprised me a bit by their intensity.

She wanted me to be close while she wept, and processed her anger about what seemed to be callous treatment by her medical professionals, who wanted the tissue for testing, apparently to determine if the tissue was fetal in nature, which they matter-of-factly confirmed at a later date.

I am a bit repulsed by that request, even now, five years later, and after the successful birth of my lovely Hannah Marie.

Julie went through all the stages of grief, and talked to me frequently about it as it progressed. While her grief was not as intense as for her brother's death, it was grief nevertheless.

I spoke to her this morning about writing for this page, and she said that she would need some time to do that, because of the intensity.

Coping Together-A Resource for Men and Women

From the link just above.

"Welcome to copingtogether.info.

Our goal is to serve as a comprehensive resource for both men and women who are struggling with the loss of a baby through miscarriage. While there is much information to be found for the woman who grieves, little exists for the grieving man, or the impact this loss has on the couple's relationship."

This site offers an opportunity for those of us dealing with or who have dealt with miscarriage grief an opportunity to connect if we choose to, and talk with others. There is also a number of links to further information.

I have not seen information available for men prior to this, and I really appreciate the sensitivity displayed by the owner of the website.

I know that I was surprised by the intensity of Julie's grief, and dealt with some feelings of shame about why I did not have such a sense of loss. I had not formed a bond with the baby the way she had, but yet there I was, in the middle of her process, trying to be present and catch up.

I appreciate the opportunity for resources.

Click on the image to create a memory from a seed.

Back to Life! A Personal Life Grief Book

Memoir Writing Secrets for Your Family

Would You Share Something That You Are Grateful For?

When I was beginning my personal growth journey, a wise person told me that when I was feeling resentful or afraid or sad, that I should remember the phrase "gratitude is the attitude" when I was ready to feel better. That phrase has helped me feel better tens of thousands of times.

Would you share what you are most grateful for? Your story could be just what another person is searching for to renew themselves? Thanks.


Have a question and want to talk with a therapist? Call 815-316-2621 for Julie Logan, LCSW, RN. 7121 Windsor Lake Parkway, Loves Park, Illinois 61111 jlogan7264@myway.com