Marital Counseling Questions

Marital Counseling questions are usually of the following kind;

When should a couple seek marriage counseling or family therapy?

What kinds of skills do couples usually learn in counseling?

How many sessions are usually needed?

What does it cost, and will insurance pay?

Do both spouses come to the first visit or should one of us go first?

What do I do if I want marriage counseling but my spouse refuses to come?

What can we expect to happen in the first session?

What questions should you ask when choosing a marriage counselor?

Before choosing a new marriage counselor, you can ask lots of questions to see if he or she is the right fit for you. Consider asking questions like these:

* Are you a clinical member of the AAMFT or licensed by the state, or both? * What is your educational and training background? * What is your experience with my type of problem? * How much do you charge? * Are your services covered by my health insurance? * Where is your office, and what are your hours? * How long is each session? * How often are sessions scheduled? * How many sessions should I expect to have? * What is your policy on canceled sessions? * How can I contact you if I have an emergency?

Making the Decision to Enter Marriage Counseling

Making the decision to go to marriage counseling can be tough. But marriage counseling can help you cope better with a troubled relationship — rather than trying to ignore it or hoping it gets better on its own.

As a domestic violence educator, I have used the Gottman model, and especially the materials in their home study workshop, The Art and Science of Love, as a model for relationships based on choice rather than power and control, and the Gottman model involves a lot of exploring, getting to know your partners inner world, and there are many questions involved.

In fact the very first section, The Love Map Exercise involves couples answering 62 questions that they ask of each other.

I have used tool with couples, and they have all found it to be fun and light hearted.

Once it is completed, the question becomes; "How often am I willing to remember my partner's love map, especially when I am irritated?" 

One of the things that Gottman speaks to quite eloquently is the need to nurture positive emotions and use repair phrases after an argument.

You can take a look at the video just below to get a sense of Gottman's take on nurturing positive emotions, and as a bonus, you get mine also.

I teach my anger management clients, and my domestic violence clients that they need to remind themselves on a schedule, if need be, to remember what it is they like about their lives, their mates, themselves, their children, because regular practice like that literally changes the brain, enhances our neuroplastic capacities, and certainly changes the chemistry in the body, eliminating stress hormones and replacing them with DHEA, the antiaging hormone.

We need to maintain an internal sense of contentment, and that follows thoughts, and if those thoughts are of gratitude, then if I am upset about my mate's choices, I will be much more able to discuss that upset cooperatively rather than competitively.

For more information about HeartMath which is an extraordinary tool for any individual to teach him or herself how to achieve that internal contentment in a heart beat and sustain contentment for long periods of time, please see the link in the right column.

You can have some stress hormone producing thoughts, just don't keep them for very long.

Imagine you and your mate each getting internally coherent, then getting coherent together, so that the relationship has a heart beat of its own, and a heart intelligence of its own, a cooperative and affiliative heart intelligence, for those conversations about sex, money, vacations, child rearing, or ambition? 

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Would You Share What You Are Most Grateful For?

Very early in my personal growth experience, a wise person taught me to use the phrase "gratitude is the attitude" when I was resentful or afraid and that phrase has helped me feel better tens of thousands of times.

Would you share your favorite gratitude story by clicking here? Your story may be just what another person needs to renew themselves.

Your story becomes part of this website (which shows the site's most recent pages) and a permanent part of Ask Mike the Counselor2 for others to read!

And I'll tweet your Web page at my Twitter account, too!

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