Love at First Site
Love at first site? We are becoming a digital people aren't we, when we search for love at first site rather than love at first sight.
So if you want love at first site, then you should definitely go see the work of Helen Fisher,Ph.D. at Chemistry.com.
While you are there, you will be able to see what she has to say about love at first sight too.
Fisher says that we can take all of one second to determine if someone is attractive or not, and within three minutes, women can make a number of evaluations about a guy.
Here is what she says;
"It takes less than one second to decide whether you find someone physically attractive. Too short, too tall, too old, too young, too scruffy, or too scrubbed—he's out. If, however, he fits your general concept of Adonis, your mind races toward the next checkpoint: voice. Once again, you respond in seconds. Women typically regard rapid talkers as more educated and men with full, deep voices as better-looking than they are. Next: his words. We like people who use the same kinds of words we use. We are also drawn to those who have a similar degree of intelligence, share our religious and social values, and come from the same economic background—and we quickly determine these attributes from a man's words (not to mention how he dresses and wears his hair, whether he's carrying a briefcase or a soccer ball, and if he's sporting a gold watch or a tattoo)."
So the process of love at first site is not far off for many folks, but what is it that makes us look at a person at a party, or perhaps hear their voice and be smitten?
How can there be such powerful chemistry? Those first three minutes are very important.
In that first three minutes, it is possible that one of the three brain systems, or all three of them, that Fisher says get activated in romantic love (love at first site)get activated, and we are off to the races. (You know, you write bad poetry, but your beloved treasures it).
What are those three brain systems?
"Lust: Sex drive is associated with a class of hormones called androgens, particularly testosterone (yes, women produce it, too). Today women with low libido can get a prescription for testosterone, even though it's FDA approved only for use in men. But women can also increase their levels without medication. Playing competitive sports has been shown to trigger testosterone production; in fact, women get a bigger boost than men prior to a competition. Making love can also create the same effect. Studies have suggested that sex raises testosterone levels, so the more sex you have, the more sex you desire.
Trust: Feelings of trust and attachment are fostered by the chemical oxytocin. In a study conducted at the University of Zurich, couples who used a nasal spray containing oxytocin before discussing an ongoing marital conflict were more likely to engage in friendly, positive communication than those who didn't take a whiff. You can stimulate oxytocin naturally with touch. Hold hands while you watch TV, trade massages, or sleep in each other's arms.
Love: The third chemical that drives relationships is dopamine, a key player in the brain's pleasure center that's been found to promote romantic love. Research shows that novelty—taking risks or trying something new—can trigger the release of dopamine in the brain. I'm not just talking about novelty in the bedroom (although that would be a good start). You can get the same effect from sampling a new type of cuisine together or riding the roller coaster at an amusement park."
When those three systems get activated, you have the experience of love at first site, with all its giddiness.
However, Fisher's study of neuroscience and genetics has led her to suggest that romantic love can grow into a substantial and mature love when we look to begin love with a compatible personality type.
Fisher's work indicates that we humans fall into four personality types, and relationship success can be greatly enhanced if we search out a compatible type to have love at first site with.
To find out what your type is, and even to meet some compatible folks, with which to try out your chemistry, go to her site Chemistry.com, where Helen Fisher is the Chief Scientific officer.
Would You Share What You Are Most Grateful For?
Very early in my personal growth experience, a wise person taught me to use the phrase "gratitude is the attitude" when I was resentful or afraid and that phrase has helped me feel better tens of thousands of times.