I need help with the issues of interaction at workplace.

by goldie
(Valley stream, NY)

Dear Mike,

For a long time I am being troubled by couple of problem areas in my nature and I was hoping that you could throw some light on it. My first problem is that when a person talks rude to me it bothers me so much that I raise the issue with management and make a big deal out of it. I have left many lucrative jobs on this issue. I am already aware of the fact that the physical and mental abuse by my mother till the age of 15 has a lot to do with my weak self esteem. And I am also aware of the fact that the rudeness of the person only reflects his own problem and not mine. However it does not help. It bothers me very much that the same person talks to others very politely while being so rude only to me. How can I deal with this? How do other people handle it when someone talks rude to them while being polite with others? Do they just ignore it?

My second problem is that on many jobs I always meet someone who befriends me dearly and take out personal info to spread it around. When they spread info that reflects my weaknesses, I see peoples' attitude changing towards me. They become less respectful to me. I feel very vulnerable after that. I get angry at that person who gossips about me. Everything goes downhill from that point. It bothers me very much that when I do not gossip or interfere with other people, why some people play such cons on me. In short I feel victimized most of the time.
Once again I know it has a lot to do with the self esteem. What I want to know is how other successful and balanced people handle it?

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Sep 23, 2015
Hayden NEW
by: Anonymous

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Sep 09, 2015
Issues of interaction at workplace. NEW
by: Gary Holmes

To sustain at your workplace needs little effort. There can be lots of problems arises that results problem in interaction. I understand what is talking about. Your workplace is totally professional so never try getting too much intimate with someone to reveal your personal info. Take your time and let's find out the actual nature and behavior of a person before trust him/her. A life coach is essential for you, as I feel. Life coach Orlando. I'm sure it would helpful to you, have a visit.

Feb 11, 2010
Interaction at wrkplace
by: SS


Your problem is not a very unique one. Abuse or no abuse low self esteem stems out of shaken faith in your self. The experiences that upset you infact confuse you, leaving you most of the time to question yourself if you have a right stance. Therefore you can try to sort its out as follows:
Count to 10 before you react to a stimuli that is identical with the things that have happened in past, while doing it try to picture the consequences that you in retrospect thought you could have avoided.

This approach would help if you jot down your past interactions at workplace that had bothered you, after this identify different personalities out of those scenerios, then try to write their qualities and negative points on a piece of paper. Nowvery objectively look for the approach to tackle their negative qualities that upset you. It might range from having a chat with that person or altogather avoiding that person.The bottomline is to learn specific interactions, ths way u wd reduce the liklihood of exposing your weaknesses.

A permanent fix for the self esteem boost is the resolution of the issues,if possible with the person who has abused you, and focusing on your qualities. Since you mentioned you left many great jobs, so there must have been something really unbeatable about you that the employers value. The fact that you left those jobs was your choice, so its infact a huge self esteem boost that employers value your skills. Then there is another wonderful thing about you that you are aware of the areas in your life that need improvement, rather than blaming it on to the big bad world.

I hp it wd help. peace

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