Gratitude

by Vanessa Omeasoo
(Wetaskiwin Alberta Canada)

My three children and I

My three children and I

what I am most grateful for is my vision. I was born with a rare eye disease called Stargardts but diagnosed when I was 12. I did not begin to accept it util I was 20. i found it very hard to accept my vision. I fell in and out of self pity trips, blaming others, Mad at God for punishing me. I hated being different. I hated myy life up to that point. I drank, did all kinds of drugs starting at age 12. My family did not understand what I was going through, therefore, they were of no support to me. When I was 20, I entered int o this Life Skills Training Program and it was here that I began to realize that I had potential, that I was smart, That I was of value to a group of people. After the program, I steped out of my comfort zone and became a volunteer for a youth group. Even though I was still very introverted, I knew I wanted to help others.
To begin my healing journey, I began the process of forgiving my dad for abandoning me. My mom for choosing not to raise me all the while being grateful that my grandparents raised me and not a foster home. I quit drinking and stopped doing other mind altering drugs. I enrolled in an upgrading program so I could go to college.
It was really amazing to realize that even though I was visually impaired, I was an honor student in junior and senior high school. With my vision being low, my listening and memory abilities were enhightened. In school I used no visual aides as I wanted to be as normal as possible. In college I flourished top of my class with the support of some visual aides during exams. In and out of the first three years of my healing joyney, I would fall into my self pity trips, where i would feel sorry for myself and want to quit school, give up and just run away. Didn't know where I wanted to run, I just wanted to go. I didn't like remembering that I was abnormal. I didn't like being different and up against so many brick walls.


Self talk is what would get me out of these spells. With the support f peers, friends and instructors, I am proud to say that I have accepted my visual impairment. I am 28 years old now, I can joke about my vision to others , and others can forget I am visually impaired and I won't be offended anymore.
How does this all relate to Gratitude? I have overcome lots of obstacles despite and inspite of my visual impairment. Because of my visual impairment I am who i am today. I have an interview for a Youth Addictions Counselling position tomorrow. I always tell people who comment on my visual impairment as 'harsh', or "that's so sad", or other comments by replying, "I am very grateful that I do have vision, that I can see, even though it is blurry, I can still see colors and shapes, and can distinguish this from that." I am. I can watch my children play, run this way and that way, and even though I can't see that my son has a dirty face or my daughter has grass in her hair from wrestling around with her brother, I am still very grateful that I can see their movements, that up close I can see their smiles. Furthermore, I am grateful I can hear them laugh, feel their hugs, hold their hands, smell their hair, so very grateful that I can hug them in return, and speak the words, "I love you".

Click here to post comments.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Grateful2
.