Free Divorce Advice

You can find free divorce advice all over...got a friend who has been through a divorce?  Was it in your jurisdiction? I am sure he or she can help with advice.

Free Divorce Advice

Perhaps you are looking for the online kind of free legal advice?  Plug "free divorce advice" into your P.C. and you will get 9,970,000 results.

My advice to you is see an attorney. My ex wanted us to do a no fault kind of process. She had our entire divorce agreement mapped out, and it was not all that unfair to me, except that I lost the house.

While the divorce process is very difficult emotionally, we were able to communicate in person.  Some couples may not be able to communicate with each other directly, and a lawyer can handle that part for you.

Do you know what all the legal paperwork means? If not, have an attorney explain it for you. 

Do you have your parental rights and responsibilities clearly stipulated?  If it is difficult for you to advocate for yourself, then an attorney can handle that as well.

I hired an attorney and he inserted verbiage in the agreement that protected my future earnings which proved to be very important to my current financial well being...I never would have thought to include that kind of language.

I think any free divorce advice will begin with checking out what is required in your county or the county where the divorce will be adjudicated.  It is a civil matter and will be handled by a county court, governed by the laws of the state in which you reside.

I just researched what is necessary in my county, and some of the forms can be printed from the county website.

The first task in my county is too download (or pick-up) paperwork appropriate to my family situation, with children, in my case, complete it, and pay the fees. 

I think a case number is assigned about this time, and the defendant in the action will get a summons, which instructs them to appear in court on a certain date and at a certain place. 

In my county, parents are required to attend mediation to agree to child custody, child visitation, alimony, child support, ect, and we were both required to go to a parenting after divorce workshop.

Our society is actually set up to encourage marriage and the family and divorce is a harder process than marriage simply because of that

Perhaps the next thing to plan for is the emotional fallout. Unraveling the fabric of a marriage is going to involve a grieving process that generally takes a couple of years to complete.

The stages of grieving typically follow a pattern of stages;

1. Denial

2. Bargaining

3. Anger

4. Sadness

5. Acceptance.

The problem with this nice orderly pattern is that grief is a non-linear process.  I might pop into stage 4 for a bit, then 5, then 1, then 2, then back to 4, until finally back to a balance. All of that might happen daily for awhile.

It is typically a wise decision to stay out of any relationships for a couple of years. Give yourself a chance to get used to being alone, and if there are children, make sure that they are reassured that they are still loved and wanted.  

Parenting styles will be very important for the children of divorce at this time.  If the parents are involved in a he said-she said victim/persecutor/rescuer melodrama, the consequences for the kids can be very disturbing.

Conversely, children of parents who who make an effort to collaborate and cooperate will readjust with quick resiliency.

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Legal Free Divorce Advice

Thinking of divorcing pro se? Want to save the dollars? Will you be able to craft a divorce decree which gives you the best chance to rebuild?  Some additional issues to think about are;

  1. Your Settlement Seems Fair Today, But What About 20 Years From Now?  Do you have the capability of evaluating your retirement accounts for  the next 20 years to see what the actual value of the account will be during that time? Financial concessions are one of the areas that divorcees have the most regrets about , typically because they did not realize during the divorce that there would be a long term impact..
  2. Do you really want to communicate directly with your spouse about these issues? Regardless of whether or not you and your spouse are getting along, negotiating the final details of child support, alimony, or any of the many other points in the divorce can be emotional and lead to very intense arguments.  You will be surprised how much aggravation and stress an attorney will save you.
  3. Do you understand your parental rights? This is one area, especially for fathers, where acting as your own attorney can fall short.  In a contested divorce, children are sometimes used as negotiating points and are even prevented from seeing their mother or father during the divorce. When things get ugly, especially when it comes to the children, your attorney can handle the conflicts, which will help you in the eyes of the court.
  4. Do you understand all the legal paperwork? Imagine coming to an agreement, or at least thinking that you have come to an agreement, and then finding out that you misfiled something or filled the paperwork out wrong. This factor alone is reason enough to at least consult with an attorney before moving forward with getting divorce help.
  5. Divorces can be emotional, which can create problems. Couples that are getting along reasonably  can often come to a standstill because something was said or done during the process that hurts their feelings.  Acting or saying something driven by emotions can cause a major setback in the case and may even cost you financially in the settlement. An attorney can help you avoid this pitfall.

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