Divorce effects on children are harmful. I watched my children go through my divorce. I saw the pain on my son's face when we told him what was happening.
My daughter did not understand at first, she was just 7, and I am not sure she ever grieved. I do know that she attached rather quickly to her mother's new boyfriend, and suffered when that relationship crashed and burned. The stress for them was obvious.
My son, who is five years older, struggled a bit...contemplated some acting out behaviors, even had the passing suicidal thought, so he has told me, but did not indulge the behaviors or the suicide. So, we can see that with divorce, the risk of psychological and behavioral problems is increased..
For a couple of years I was not too available to them emotionally, because of my grief, and the economic impact of the divorce for me. I was preparing for retirement, and downsizing my business, when the recession hit, and sped the downsizing up rapidly, much more rapidly than I intended, and then I was in divorce court.
However, my children have come through those difficult days and are doing quite well in terms of their lives.
Their mother and I made a concerted effort not to put the children into a place where they had to chose.one or the other of us, and they were not impacted economically because their mother's business was doing quite well, so they had the basics and extras.
If mom and dad make a reasonable effort to manage the stress of divorce, most children do not develop the serious long lasting emotional and behavioral problems. Those children are resilient, and come through the divorce transition as just kids.
Most children whose parents divorce suffer to some degree because mom and dad blame the other, and if mom is the custodial parent, she may not have the earning power of dad, so the children's safety and security is impacted as well.
Depending on the age of the children, for kids under three, attachment processes are impeded, which will impact all future relationships..
Another important divorce effect on even the resilient children are painful memories, and worries about divorce.
Please remember that pain is not pathology, and grief is not a mental disorder. Children need to grieve, and there is a great deal you can do to promote their well-being.
Look here for more resources on divorce effects on children, and how you can help.
Return to Home from Divorce Effects On Children
Or get our
Awaken the higher mental, emotional, and spiritual capacities with Heartmath.
See products we recommend in our Amazon Store
Dec 16, 18 12:17 PM
John S. Mbiti. This man has written alot of African counseling and we are aware of our method and tactics of counseling which used to be informal kind
Dec 16, 18 12:07 PM
2014 01 02 ASKMIKETHECOUNSELLOR2 TO: email@example.com Ms. Julie Logan Hi, I am worried and feel entrapped. I cannot yet find a way out. I was looking
Dec 16, 18 12:00 PM
The people that ask themselves how to save my marriage today fail to realize that it is something in their power to do. The longer we stay with someone,
Go To The Ask Mike Homepage