My counseling practice deals to a great extent with relationship issues, the domestic violence and anger management aspects of it particularly, and as I have studied the pathology involved in those behaviors, it occurred to me that I ought to study the solutions also.
Perhaps it would be easier to teach more of the solution using Solution Oriented Brief Therapy, or the idea found in the Big Book of Alchoholic's Anonymous about getting more solution by thinking about solution, and if you want more problem, then focus on the resentment or problem.
Wino's got very precise about this issue because their lives were at stake.
So what is the solution that you find at the Chemistry dating site?
Doesn't the fact that there is or could be money exchanged for services make the chemistry dating site suspicious?
And what is the chemistry they are talking about?
They are talking about the chemistry of romantic love, and that discussion is based on the work of Helen Fisher,Ph.D. who has been working in this field for 30 years, including recent examinations of 'just-in-love-brains' using a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine which looks at real time blood flows in the human brain.
The model of romantic love that Fisher is describing is based on chemistry in the brain.
She says that as we humans fall in love, three powerful parts of the reward system in our brains get turned on, each generating a hormone/neurotransmitter which almost impels certain behaviors, like writing bad poetry, sitting up together all night, long letters, and phone calls, pining away for your lovers call, ect.
Those hormones are the chemistry, and Fisher also says that we humans fall into four basic personality types and that we have a better chance for that romantic love chemistry with a particular personality type.
So based on her research Fisher has put together a personality test that you take at her site, Chemistry.com, to determine your personality type and to begin the process of showing you potential matches.
So this is what the chemistry dating site is all about.
I like that I can go read about Fisher's research in journals or watch her presentations to TED.
I can look at her ideas and see if they fit with my personal experience.
Other dating sites are not so transparent, at least not in my experience, and actually I have a very limited dating site experience.
I was mated in the traditional manner before the PC and internet dating was such a big part of our lives.
But there are dating sites available for every persuasion and niche of individual seeking to experience a new round of romantic love.
So I can say to my clients that research on the human brain has shown that chemistry does happen, and you have some choices about how to manifest that chemistry.
Choice is a good thing.
Very early in my personal growth experience, a wise person taught me to use the phrase "gratitude is the attitude" when I was resentful or afraid and that phrase has helped me feel better tens of thousands of times.
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